Friday, August 24, 2007

Serious questions

Do you take things for granted?
I am going to go out on a limb here and assume yes.
We all take things for granted.
I took a lot of things for granted even though I considered myself a relatively grateful person before cancer.

This past weekend Gramma had a stroke. I was there with her at that moment. It happened so fast...and as she faded and I held her in my arms I felt that I was losing her. Had I taken for granted the state she was in just moments before? The truth is yes.

Now she's back from the hospital and I'm sitting here tapping away on my keyboard listening to my Mom and Aunt Betty help her in the bathroom. I'm not sure what's next...I'm not sure that she knows either. I'm not sure whether she'll be able to live in the same house she raised her children in anymore. The simplest personal tasks are all the more difficult for her now. It's a fulltime job for my aunt now and inevitably a decision will have to be made.

Taking something for granted is normal...that's why I said in the beginning of this blog that all of us take things for granted. Just admit it. We bemoan some things in life, never fully appreciate the status quo.
That's just the way it is.

But it kind of makes you feel grateful to be young and terrified to grow old all at the same time. Wait a second...I want to grow old don't I? After all...looking at the possibility that you might die young scares you into hoping you'll grow old.
More time...when it seems to be limited...all we really want is more time.

1 comment:

Carol said...

Hey, I'm so sorry to hear about this! My grandfather had a stroke a while ago and I know it's a rough situation. Let me know if there's anything I can do or if you just want to talk.