Friday, September 14, 2007

Nostalgia is just a way of compensating for really crappy pop-culture

In the 1980s I was livin the high life.
I loved to chew Hubba Bubba Pink Lemonade bubble gum while riding my Pink Huffy Sweet Thunder bicycle (with the ultra cool extra cushiony luxury seat) up and down the driveway.
Back then things were really cookin'. I was sportin an ultra cool girl mullet. I wore a telephone cord belt and I had one of those three tiered skirts. The Fisher Price radio with attached mic was blasting the Bangles and Genesis and I sang to every song. Thankfully, by the early 90s the mullet was long gone and life went on. But if you ask me any line of Manic Monday I can still recite it. Impressive huh, I was eight years old when that song came out?

I missed the whole 80s coming of age thing, the teen scene. I was too busy throwing Barbie pool parties during the better part of the 80s. At least the movies showed me I was missing out on some real good times. Wax on Wax off... Who didn't envy Elizabeth Shue rollerskating around with Ralph Maccio (Daniel Son) in the Karate Kid, ya know? And Sixteen Candles.... Hello? It doesn't get any better than Jake Ryan!

But anyway, by the time the 90s rolled around...I realized I'd missed the boat. The teenaged guy getting the most attention wore suspenders, red oversized glasses and snorted heartily. His name was Steve Urkel.

Then when Joey Lawrence danced around in a wife beater and a flannel around his waist singing Nothin' My Love Can't Fix for ya Baby...it was grounds for despair. Triple threat, he was not.

Right then and there the teen idol should have been declared DOA. Granted Urkel later spiffed up and became Stef-fffan but I digress...this was what we had to work with in the early 90s....a whole lotta nothin.

Were there any decent teen idols in the 90s? Am I missing anyone? Please comment if you think I have unfairly assessed the hunk quotient of an entire decade.

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