Sunday, September 26, 2010

How do I? What do I...? Can I?

My Dad did a little photo-shop magic.
I finally found the official course map to the 5K. As it turns out there is some uphill challenge to this...About 1/3 way through the race I have to round the Cobbs Hill Reservoir. Ouch. 

This weekend I tried a dry-run of the course. The top of the reservoir affords one of the prettiest views of the city of Rochester...but as I climbed up it for the first time, huffing and puffing as I went, I just kept thinking...
what am I doing? how am I going to do this? I'm not a runner...Am I seriously nuts for even trying? 

The definitive answer to that last question has to be no. 
There is no other way around this. I need to do this.
I wanted a challenge--and baby, here I go.
I'm just 34 days away from doing something I never imagined I would do. 

Running taxes me earlier and more profoundly than most people who do it regularly--and at least from where I see it, effortlessly. Even with all this heart rate is still too high through most of my workouts. It's not rocket science. I had a mediastinal tumor. Aside from my legs, the anatomical center of everything that is running (heart and lungs) is the very location of my second cancer's battleground. This is not supposed to be easy. I just didn't know it would be this hard.

I have received a lot of support from a lot of people who mean a great deal to me. So many have encouraged me in ways that are keeping me emotionally fueled. Gratitude is so much a part of why I'm doing this, but gratitude is what's keeping me going. I feel it...and every bit of love that comes my way keeps me focused. I even have a few dear people who have offered to run this with me. One of them, Heather (Swifty)  is going to have to drive two hours from Ithaca to do so. Zach's parents will be there on the day of the race...cheering me on. 

So far I've raised over $500 for the SamFund in Zach's memory--raising money for grant/scholarship funding for young adult survivors.  

I've wanted to pay it forward for the help they provided me. Gratitude. 
I had a friend who changed the direction of my life and I want to carry his banner of hope because he can't. Gratitude. I have a reduced capacity to be a 'natural' at all things physical---but I can try... I haven't lost the ability to do so. Gratitude. 

If you feel so compelled you can visit my webpage and make a'll help me work toward my fundraising goal. But you already have my gratitude just for taking a moment out of your day to read this...because somehow my simple quest touched your heart.

No matter what lies ahead in the final month of preparation, I know that I'm going to give it my all. I have so much to be grateful for...Life isn't just like a's a big ol' road race....some of it uphill, some of it winding, and some of it a soft and gentle downhill slope--the kind you coast down feeling the breeze on your face.

 Life is like a road race...and I'll bless every stride.


Anonymous said...

You rock, girl! All you need to do is finish, Leah. All you need to do is listen for Zach, he'll get you through it.

Anonymous said...

Not sure when you are running your first 5k, but I'm running mine on October 30th (Undy 5000 for Colon Cancer Alliance). It's terrifying and exciting and overwhelming all at once. Everytime I think about the race, I try to imagine the relief and exuberance and emotions I'll experience as I cross the finish line for the first time. It keeps me going, every time.