|In spring 2010|
By the time Patrick came home a month ago and nudged me to accompany him on visits to the gym, I realized exercise was the thing I had been chopping off my list consistently when there was any time crunch. Fatigue has also played a role in this...
With the way my life is set up now, I didn't really even realize how slowly and yet dramatically this pulling away from exercise has impacted me.
There are lots of ways to find spirituality. I'm not speaking about God necessarily. I don't do any of my praying during workouts. I'm speaking about a sense of calm and serenity- and an ease that everything is going to be okay. Even if it isn't, everything will be okay. A sense that somehow the things you have no control over don't have a hold on you and instead you can hold on them at bay. A sense that you can channel any negative messages or fears and turn them around.
Everyone needs a place to release and re-invite that message that 'everything will be okay'. That place for me over the last month has oddly enough been the gym.
For the last few weeks when I'm sweating it out on the eliptical, it's the one place I can't be reached on the phone or feel I need to attend to something else. I zone out completely and let the pure rush of solitude (in a crowded gym) wash over me. Here I have a very singular purpose and here there are
The spin class with the amazing Marti has become my zen. And Patrick's too. Even though we're pedaling beside each other in class - the experience is totally our own. Yesterday I entered the class carrying many worries in with me, but by the end of class they were unburdened and I felt that comforting hum that is peace.
In no way am I advocating abandoning religion for a gym membership. I just think it's time I regain a little sweat equity in the work that is just on me.