It's roughly 5 days till my Euro-trip. I've been spending the past few days relaxing at my Aunt's cottage on Lake Ontario. The other day, just before sundown I paddled down the Salmon River in my kayak, taking a few moments to breathe in the silence and the stillness that is the utter antithesis to what my life will be for nearly 3 weeks- Chaotic, crazy and harried.
I am starting to feel anxious about making all those flights and trains and connections and bopping around a continent- throwing caution to the wind. The welcome quiet kayak ride gave me a little time to think about all that's ahead. It also gave me a little time to think about how far I've come.
The excitement of stepping outside of my comfort zone is causing some kind of chemical reaction- a rush. I can't believe that this kind of thing is possible for me now.
One year ago I was frail, hairless and too sick to really feel alive. To be honest sometimes through treatment it felt as though I was a dead girl walking. I spent most of my time at the hospital, being a human pin cushion.On this journey I've been watching people around me fight...fighting myself and never feeling quite sure that tomorrow was a given. It wasn't. When you stare down the uncertainty of tomorrow you start thinking about next time...if you have the chance, you'll live life a little gutsier.
One year ago I couldn't handle walking through a mall. Now I'm going to be zipping around a continent. I wanted to prove this to myself again- that I really am alive and am not just the sum of my illnesses. I'm capable of challenging my body.